Sinusoid

Why you did this to me? Why?? Why you don’t answer me? Why you brought me this far and now left me dangling in the middle of nowhere? Why? Please answer me.

I remember when I was in darkness, I was shattered, and I was lost in darkness. My life was in shadows, I had no options, and I saw nothing. I was numb, shattered, pessimism brewed inside of me. You know that how difficult it was for me even to breath. The will of living my life was nowhere to be found, I searched for excuses to live it; I found none, ending it wasn’t that simple yet I found a thousand reasons to do so.

I still remember how thirsty I was, like a lost traveler in a deserted desert with no oasis, no sign of life but mine. Walking bare foot with sun right above my head volleying its fury upon me, thorns at my feet and walking upon them, I walked on and on until there came a point where I couldn’t took it any more. Head sweating, feet bleeding, I walked on.

Where am I? What am I? No idea, what to do, where to go. You watched, you were there, you saw me fall beyond the depth of the deepest canyons ever existed on the face of earth, perhaps even more than the canyons that exists in hell.

Then came a moment, a feeling beyond all this, emptiness they call it, and that was the time when you showed up, brought me out of this dark alley of my life, showed me the light. You quenched my thirst, thirst of a stray traveler, gave me a thousand reasons to live my life. You threw the weed of pessimism off my heart and sowed the seed of optimism there instead, guided me out of the desert and led me straight to oasis. You gave me wings, and I soared high in to heavens beyond those deep canyons.

                Life seemed pretty easy then, simple, sweet and colorful. Yes, exactly very colorful indeed so much that I forgot it contained dark colors as well. I thought that after every twilight there breaks a dawn, no doubt it does, and I thought it to last forever long; I was wrong. I was so much lost in all those colors, so much engrossed in the music, I was enjoying flying so high that I never realized how far I came, and how far I’ve left you behind. I never thought I’d be this far from you, I thought I’d be with you till I breathe my last, till my bones turn into ashes and are lost in the depths of this earth. How wrong I was, you didn’t bother to warn me let alone stopping. You know I am nothing without you, I am blind, I am deaf, I am limbless creature, you know that I need you and without you I don’t have the will to crawl my way to you. I need you to pave my way to you; I can’t even do that without you. Grab my hand before it gets too dark, I am afraid of darkness, I don’t know whether I’d live through all this time around, I know you are listening and watching, don’t do this with me again, don’t leave right in the middle of nowhere.